It's my birthday

And I'm doing okay. This dog has distracted me from everything.

Yesterday morning I had a breakdown, though. Since we've got the dog I had been in a panic. I couldn't stop worrying. The cats were very upset and I felt like we threw our lives upside down for selfish reasons by getting this dog. I was completely freaking out. I couldn't sleep and I could barely eat, which isn't like me at all. T was worried beyond belief. I really felt like I couldn't do it. I had a therapy appointment and we talked about all this. I cried for an hour, almost hysterically.

I'm feeling a lot better today. B-dog (I know I put his name in here, but I'm going to call him this on the blog now, just to avoid this blog being found in error -- one mention is fine, but tons might throw off searching) is barking less, and he sat on his bed last night while I made dinner. The cats came downstairs and did some sniffing. There was no growling and they sat on our laps like they usually do. Not sure they'll all be best friends, but things are returning to normal.

B-dog did fine while we were at work. He is so, so happy when we get home. He has a long. long tail and it wags in a circle.

I think it's good that I freaked out, in a way. I mean, it's better for me to have freaked out over a dog than when getting a baby. I know I'm a worry wart, but I did not know that I had this panic inside of me. I do think that it was partially because I feel like I know how to take care of a baby bu I don't know how to care for a dog, and I was worried about combining the two.

Plus, if we're adopting a child, I just think it would be so wrong to give back a dog we adopted. That just doesn't sit right. I just felt like I had made a mistake.

But B-dog is getting used to us, the cats and the house. We are establishing a pattern. This is completely do-able. We're also thinking of getting some pet gates, which could double as baby gates. That way we can keep the dog out yet nearby and still be able to put the baby on the floor.

Anyway, just another day getting used to being dog owners. He's a good boy.