Burst

I've been reading my blog posts from a year ago. It's weird to relive that time. I'm glad I have a record of it here.

Sometimes when I think about Henry I feel like my heart might just burst because it is so filled with love for him.


We're moving the day after tomorrow. It's kinda freaking me out

"Just" money

So our house appraised too low and the mortgage company the buyers are using won't lend them the money to buy our house, so of course we have to lower the price. Apparently the improvements we've done to the house don't really increase its value. But our hands are pretty tied here. This sucks so much. The tiny bit of money we were going to be able to have after we pay off our current mortgage has disappeared. We have lost so much money on this house. In retrospect, we never should have bought this house. But like a lot of people, we were enamored with it and the idea of being a homeowner.

T is out of his mind with anger about losing so much money. It is a lot of money. A lot. Like several years of working worth. And he feels the buyers are taking advantage of us. (We happen to know that one of the buyer's family has a lot of money.)

I am so anxious to pass papers and put all this behind us so that we can just start our life in our new house. And hopefully we will not have to move for 20 or 30 years.

I've packed a bunch, but I don't feel ready. We move on Tuesday. The new house is ready for us, though. (Well, everyone except for B-dog because we don't have a fence out back yet. I think poor B-dog is going to be miserable when we move.)

No one is happy around here these days. I hope I can convince T that it's "just" money and we need to move on.

video

One of the videos I posted on the blog I created for CC and O. was viewed in FL, where they live, via the blog. I think one (or both) of them watched it.

:)

Cake!

One year

Still, even after all this time, I still can't believe that I'm actually a mom. It still feels so unreal to me.

I am so grateful for the privilege of being this little boy's mom. He is the greatest. I hope CC and O. know this. I've told them, but I want them to know.

Happy Birthday, baby boy. Mama loves you.

Exhausting

Preparing to move is exhausting. In the middle of this is Henry's first birthday and he's getting so close to walking. I can't really get packing done during the day because he's into everything and during nap time I do things like shower, eat, laundry, dishes and everything else that keeps the house going. I try to pack a little at night but T is too tired after work to do much. I'm very worried that we are not going to be ready. We have 10 packing days and we've only just begun. I haven't even thought about packing our garage or our basement yet. I'm pretty terrified about this move and I just can't wait for it to be over.

My nieces are coming to stay for a few days. They can watch Henry while T & I pack. T has taken a couple of days off work so that we can get stuff done. I hope it's helpful and we can get a lot done.

I guess I should be packing.

Home

He's home!!

Bad

T is in the hospital. He has a staph infection. He's been there for 2 days now.

We're moving in 2 weeks and we've barely started packing.

H woke up at quarter of six this morning. He never gets up that early. I was peeing and H was crying and the dog was whining and the cat was howling and I was alone.

T doesn't know when he's coming home. He's lonely and sad. I'm lonely and sad.