tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26805135.post106788040695620609..comments2023-05-01T11:01:19.417-05:00Comments on Henry Street: Starting OverRachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02996214314229242361noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26805135.post-23026821803020253682008-01-28T11:42:00.000-05:002008-01-28T11:42:00.000-05:00I totally feel your anger! It is hard to get past ...I totally feel your anger! It is hard to get past the anger when you see how easy it is for others. None of this will ever be fair to any of us and getting over it is too tough to do.Somewhat Ordinaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09701338805685025735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26805135.post-16926365463317721162008-01-25T22:17:00.000-05:002008-01-25T22:17:00.000-05:00I'm sorry things aren't working out the way they'r...I'm sorry things aren't working out the way they're supposed to.<BR/><BR/>Shelli over at hydrangeasarepretty.blogspot.com did an open adoption and has some face to face contact with her daughter's birthmother.Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11342071625881436631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26805135.post-49891457894626182912008-01-25T20:55:00.000-05:002008-01-25T20:55:00.000-05:00I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Some ...I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Some of the paths to parenthood are more difficult than others. I don't know why some of us are picked to go the more difficult route. I'm sending {{{hugs}}} and good thoughts your way.astralhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17071489588665538423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26805135.post-49394821904945166752008-01-25T19:35:00.000-05:002008-01-25T19:35:00.000-05:00I don't know how I will wait for a match or deal w...I don't know how I will wait for a match or deal with the being 'chosen' part. It is all a huge mindfuck. <BR/><BR/>I am glad T has let go of some of the anger, I hope you can, too. <BR/><BR/>I hope this is the last time you will have to start over.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26805135.post-13917832077281213832008-01-25T18:49:00.000-05:002008-01-25T18:49:00.000-05:00The birth parent question is a big one. Now I'm c...The birth parent question is a big one. Now I'm comfortable with it, but it took a long time and my husband isn't nearly and comfortable as I am. At first I wanted international adoption because there wouldn't be much (if any) contact w/the birth parents, but we both want a caucasion child and I want a newborn. I didn't want to bring a 9 or 10 month old child into my life. It sounds horrible to say, but I didn't want to 'miss out' on a single part of motherhood. Even the crappy no sleeping, spit up part. So, how did I come to terms w/it? I realized that I am perfectly capable of loving more than one mother so why wouldn't my child? For example, I love my step grandmother and my bio grandmother. They are different and one does not eclipse the other. For me, putting it in those terms made sense. <BR/><BR/>Not all adoptions are totally open. It depends on what the birth mother wants (she holds ALL the cards). Some want a closed adoption. Others want a semi-open adoption (my preferred) which is when you agree to send pics, letters, etc. on a regular basis. The adoption agency acts and a mediary. <BR/><BR/>I don't know how I feel about the sort of open adoptions where the bio mom is at Christmas dinner and that sort of thing, but I'm cool w/regular visits.<BR/><BR/>So, give yourself time to grive and adjust to the idea. It's a lot to take in and a totally different mind set. It's NOT second best just different.<BR/><BR/>Good luck w/everything. BTW, if we're not successful w/DI we'll return to the adoption world.Happyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14335137784267157167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26805135.post-69127499970895793162008-01-25T18:48:00.000-05:002008-01-25T18:48:00.000-05:00I'm sorry it feels like starting all over again. ...I'm sorry it feels like starting all over again. I imagine that is the toughest part. Hang in there. Thinking of you.Waiting Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07487061896648183375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26805135.post-39369390632817956322008-01-25T15:59:00.000-05:002008-01-25T15:59:00.000-05:00I have carried a lot of anger too, over the "havin...I have carried a lot of anger too, over the "having to go through all of this." I will also say that I've been thinking about adoption on a more serious level for about six months on and off, and while I still don't know how/when I might pursue it, I think having that time to consider will be helpful for me in the future. It takes a while to digest all of the ideas, and sometimes I feel more positive about it than others.Samanthahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02799401502134619497noreply@blogger.com